To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 3:29 pm
Good morning, baby. I have a doctor’s appt so if I don’t reply right away you know why. I Love you.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 3:31 pm
Oh right you’re still sleeping. Silly time zones.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 3:37 pm
Whatevs. I’m still texting you even if you’re not conscious. Consider it a rape texting of sorts. Rexting.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 3:49 pm
In the waiting room at the doctor’s office. Am sandwiched between a lady with a mullet and a lady with sideburns. Want to ask “why?”
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 3:53 pm
Is it possible to choke to death on the fumes of a man’s cologne? If so I’d better say my goodbyes. I love you.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 3:56 pm
Pretty sure my ex-sister-in-law is a nurse her. Hooray for awkwardness!
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 3:56 pm
*here*
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 3:58 pm
My socks today are awesome. They are grey with green shamrocks sprinkled all over. I’d take a pic but then ppl would know I’m weird.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:02 pm
The (sideburns) lady next to me isn’t even wearing socks. It’s too cold for sandals. What’s wrong with her? Also her big toe scares me.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:10 pm
god I hate when ppl touch my elbow. There’s an unspoken understanding about strangers touching elbows. Clearly (mullet) is in violation.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:10 pm
Seriously. Mullet Lady. Stop. Touching. My Elbow.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:11 pm
Who brushes their mullet in the morning and thinks “this is working for me?”
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:11 pm
Auuuuuuuuugh
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:13 pm
You know if I showed up 25 mins late to the doctor’s I would be handed a bill for the inconvenience as I’m shown the door. *looks at clock*
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:13 pm
Just sayin’.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:14 pm
I am Enjoying myself.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:15 pm
Lies. I might die in this waiting room, actually. Death by Delayed Doctors syndrome. It’s Very Serious. It will start when I pick up that Time magazine from 1985.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:23 pm
Is it really necessary for the receptionist to be behind bulletproof glass at the dermatologist? Is a pissed-off patient with psoriasis>
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:23 pm
>going to gun down the place? The cops will just follow his trail of dandruff and gunpowder.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:27 pm
I see the nurse coming. Please call my name. Please call my name. Pleasecallmyname. Jennyjennyjennyjennyjenny SCORE!!!!!
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:36 pm
Why do drs keep their instruments out (haha)? Am so tempted to take my blood pressure while listening to my heart. Bet I’m being watched tho.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:37 pm
Yes. Definitely being watched. Have refrained from stuffing pockets with tongue depressors.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:42
Where is the goddamn doctor? It’s hot in here. Are the walls getting closer? The walls are getting closer, baby. I know it. I see it. Am a rat in a maze. WHERE’S MY CHEESE
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:43 pm
What does Jay-Z mean when he calls Beyonce his “thoroughest girl?”
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:44 pm
I want to be your thoroughest girl.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:49 pm
Done. A 60-minute wait for a four minute visit with doctor. Billed for an hour. God Bless America.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:51 pm
Have never had a doctor stroke my hair while talking to me before. He will forever be known as Dr. Handsy the Dermatologist.
To: Medway
From: Jenny
Sent: 4:52 pm
Where’s my lollipop, damn it?
12 comments:
That's better than some of the other texts we send.
or is it?
(hehe, Nummat)
we are the best texters EVER,
Who wouldn't love waking up to find that? Love it.
Barf
Thank you, Bard! :D
Anonymous: Very brave of you to hide while sharing your opinion. Respect.
Jen,
Very funny. Reminds of some of the one-sided conversations that I have had with the HLDW.
R.
Billed for an hour? Shit!
Rhino: Thanks, Love! :D
Birmo: Welcome to America!
Despite all your rage, you are still just a rat in a cage. But rats with text and humour capability.
My doctors surgery has magazines with photos of Ange and Brad's newborn twin girls.
Odd, that. All the womens' mags this year reckon the twins are a pigeon pair.
So, when exactly did Knox Pitt Jolie have his/her sex change operation?
I shall have to go back to the doctors waiting room and read some more magazines to find out.
There's another question - if you sat in the waiting room, without going to the reception desk, and stayed there ALL DAY reading magazines, would anyone notice? And would they bill you for it?
Hilarious, Jenny. Fodder for a scene in a screenplay...reminds me of Seinfeld.
You're so good...
ginny
my keyword is fecinect...how appropriate? WTF?
11 comments and none about stroking your hair? Fine, I'll take that one:
So...did you check the state sex offender's list for the doctor's name and picture after the exam?
After stroking your hair, did he say, "it puts the lotion on the skin, or it gets psoriasis again"?
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